So Eructation is an Awkward Word...

This is the story of how I became a belching legend.

A long time ago, a certain relative, who will remain nameless, taught me to burp on command.

Not very surprisingly considering my other interests as a child, this quickly spiraled out of control.

First came practicing the deep and guttural burps, which provided a great base for my new skill.

I practiced my alphabet, then moved to complete words.

And, on occasion, with some luck and Pepsi, I would manage semi-complete sentences.

I was a popular spectacle among the middle school boys.

Obviously, my family was less than thrilled about my weird party trick, but I’ve always held some pride in the fact that I can often out burp grown men.

But then, just the other day, I shocked and awed my family with a powerful eructation… that I have no memory of…

That was a bit disconcerting.

With great belches comes great responsibility.

- Katie

We'll Be Back....

As you might have noticed, Kara has not posted much of late. What has Kara been doing?

She got a job.

It's been a bit of an adjustment but starting this week Katie will be posting on Wednesdays and Kara will be posting on Saturdays.

- The Sisters Kohrs

The End of Happiness

This weekend, I conquered evil and saved the world.

A little background, Wind Waker HD came out a few weeks ago, which is a remake of my favorite video game ever. It’s a gorgeous game, if you’re not familiar with it, following the quest of Link who is trying to rescue his sister and eventually save the Princess Zelda and the whole world from the forces of the evil Ganondorf.

This weekend, I finally finished it, so I thought I should tell you about it.

I’ve been procrastinating the end because I didn’t want it to be over. The GameCube version was the first video game I ever got to play and I have a million and two fond memories of it. The remake brought all of it back, and I felt like a nerdy ten year old again.

Also I was petrified that I wouldn’t be able to beat the final boss. Because that would horribly humiliating... I have a bad habit of talking up my Wind Waker skills to an annoying point...

But I did beat it. And it was even more amazing than I remembered.

There are a lot of great things about the game, but I really can’t tell you anything because once I get started, it’s really hard to stop... So just go play it. As in, now. Please.

- Katie

Memories of Costumes Past

A few weeks ago Katie shared the story of her most epic and dramatic halloween costume. My best childhood halloween costume was a horse but I don’t have any funny stories to go along with it. No really. I tried to make up one and nothing came to mind.

However all hope is not lost. Here is a link to Menace, a blog post on Hyperbole and a Half and it is amazing. Check it out.

The Feral Cat and the Car

Once upon a time, we had a farm cat.

This farm cat was probably more trouble than he was worth and had the attitude of Tyra Banks and Simon Cowell combined, but he was amazing.

It was a complete surprise the day my dad decided we could get a cat. All of our lobbying over the years, and it turned out to be some nasty voles destroying our backyard that convinced him. We were thrilled.

Then Koko gave us all ringworm.

It was horrifying.

Koko and I had a special relationship. I chased him around the house, basically torturing him in a loving way and he clawed most of my skin off. It was a love only a cat and its owner can understand.

But the most memorable moment with Koko came a few months later, on a cold Sunday morning…

The family and I set off for church, a twenty minute drive, mostly on an expressway through town. About two hours later, we arrived at home and exited the car to hear this bizarre noise. It sounded like Koko when he wanted food, a weird yowling noise that earned him the nickname Mr. Yao because he didn’t seem able to meow properly.

Little tangent there for you. Sorry. Anyway.

We looked for him all around, on the porch, in the garage, on the roof, but we had no luck until my dad had an idea. He opened the hood of the car and there sat Mr. Yao, stuck among all the car parts.

Amazingly he was alright, fully intact and covered in grease. He must have crawled up next to the car engine which would have been a warm haven when he missed the last call to come back inside for the night. But much like a kid’s hand in a candy jar, it’s much easier to get in than it is to get out, even when the engine roared to life and raced down a major highway. Twice.

But then, just after about two years with us, the unthinkable happened.

The voles, the wretched rodents of our backyard which were the reason we got a cat in the first place, conspired together to take revenge upon Koko.

One day, they caught him off guard and carried him off to Madagascar, where he now lives in exile.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

- Katie

Downton Trauma

 If you haven't watched season 3 of Downton Abbey don’t read this post. It contains spoilers. Instead go watch Downton Abbey, you’re missing out.

The last season of Downton Abbey was traumatic. When a certain character died a few episodes in I was shocked and sad and angry. I spent the next week just feeling down. But I did console myself with the thought that the rest of the main characters were safe for the rest of the season. It would be too cruel to kill off anyone else. 

Yeah. Don’t come to me for predictions of the future with tv shows. Months and months later I still haven’t recovered from the last episode. 

In the first few months after it aired we were kind of numb. Every time something awful happened or a character would die in a tv show it seemed insignificant in comparison to Downton Abbey.

 After that we started overreacting to tv shows.

To this day we still have a few irrational fears.

And general paranoia and trust issues toward tv.

- Kara

Feral Defined

We get asked this a lot. Really, we get asked this every time we describe ourselves as feral.

What do you mean by feral?

Basically, we just mean that we have no useful life skills, making our lives a little awkward and a lot amusing. For example...

Katie once made cookies without sugar. 

Anymore, instead of actually making cookies, we have concocted the lazier option, raw cookie dough.

We once had a debate over whether or not a substance was flour or powdered sugar... We never thought to taste it.

Ironing begs a similar internal debate to shaving legs. Is it really necessary?

Cleaning is a shameful point in our lives. 

Hi I'm Katie and I've only deep cleaned my room once. I've lived in it 8 years.

Hi I'm Kara and I'm a pack rat. I just found my 18th birthday balloon. I'm 24.  

And that, dear readers, is why we are feral. 

- The Sisters Kohrs

Feral Writers

Katie and I have been co writing a story (we'll tell you more about it later), and it has been both fun and bonding to work on it together. The downside of writing of any kind though, is the editing. Editing is awful. Even if you know and love the person editing your work and know that they aren't saying that you are a terrible writer or a terrible person, it hard not to get upset by criticism. 
 Neither Katie or I are very good at taking criticism gracefully. But as with most things, we react differently. In fact when we get defensive, we each take on the traits of different wild animals.

- The Porcupine -

- The Armadillo -

- Kara

The Feralest Years

There once was a time when I was far more feral than I am today. A time when it was commonplace to see me roaming the house on all fours, growling at people or monologuing to myself about the elusive creature I was observing.

I spent a chunk of my childhood pretending to be some manner of animal, bird, monkey, leopard, or some mythical combination of the three. I even frequently turned my bed into a nest, constructed from my plethora of stuffed animals.

All this mainly came from my obsession with Animal Planet. This was back in the day when I didn’t know what ‘internet’ was, when my family didn’t have cable TV, and I didn’t mind. I was entertained by Zoobooks, Ranger Rick and the Crocodile Hunter. I was pretty sure Steve Irwin and I were going to be partners someday.

Thankfully, I did eventually move onto other, less socially isolating obsessions like writing stories and playing video games. But the really disturbing thing is my formerly extensive knowledge of all things that creep and crawl still crops up every now and again.

But if I’m honest, a piece of my heart will always love nature and all the adorable and sometimes really weird things in it...

As long as it all stays out of my room and doesn’t touch me... then we're cool...

-Katie