The Feral Fend for Themselves

Not long ago, in a galaxy quite near to here, it was May the Fourth. As bloggers, Kara and I were thrilled, a perfect holiday filled with all sorts of inspiration for us to illustrate. In the few days prior to the Fourth, we were in Kansas City, celebrating with friends by watching all six movies in one weekend. We had every intention of posting as soon as we got home. However, in this dual of the fates, we lost...

As we, the Feral women, are barely capable of keeping our own rooms habitable, we have not as of yet moved out of our parents house. So we were understandably concerned when the parents went on vacation for a week.

It all started with us coming back from Kansas City to Kara’s closet looking and smelling more like Dagobah than it usually does. Apparently, the upstairs bathroom had flooded while we were away.

For the rest of the week, we lived with all the contents of her closet strewn around the house, drying. This, obviously, required every fan we owned to be found and turned on in various places. There was no peace in the world in those days...

For the next few days as we scrounged for food and tried to make a party out of our time together, we were thwarted at every turn by the savages that decided to come live with us. Monstrous wasps and hairy centipedes were our only companions.

By the end of the week, we weren't just feral anymore. We were feral swamp women with no intention of letting our parents abandon us to fend for ourselves again anytime soon.  

- Katie

Star Wars Day

Happy May the Fourth!! 

Ok, so we're a little late. Fair point. Our excuse involves flooding, wasps, spiders and giant hairy centipedes. More details to come, of course. But first, let us take a moment to bask in the awesomeness that is... 

Star Wars.

And here are a few of our favorite Star Wars related things that we think you'll enjoy.

Music! 
Classic Star Wars Complaints!
Watch this, Maybe!
Cellos of the Dark Side
Stormtroopers Twerk?

How they should have ended... 
Episode I
Episode IV
Episode V
Episode VI
And HISHE bloopers...
And this...

And, finally the best of all... This

- The Sisters Kohrs

Lemme explain....

As you may have noticed, we've been super excited about May the Fourth. And it was awesome. We prepared all sorts of ideas for the May the Fourth post - which is still coming, by the way! However production was derailed by unexpected ridiculousness. Think of it this way, we get to celebrate May the Fourth even longer now!

Stay tuned!

- The Sisters Kohrs

Countdown

Countdown

- The Sisters Kohrs

Countdown

- The Sisters Kohrs

Countdown

The Countdown Begins...

Who's excited? We are!!

- The Sisters Kohrs

So Now You Have Fan Girls...

Recently, I was delighted to find I had a text from my clever and beautiful four leafed clover of a friend, Eliza. It read, simply...

JIMMY GRIST COMMENTED ON MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!

I was instantly struck by the loving and slightly murderous jealousy that often becomes such honest and close friendships as ours.

I quickly ran to my computer four days later to read said quote. The blog itself was a link to one of Mr. Grist’s comics, one which is particularly fantastic. The now famous in my own mind comment read, simply...

OH MY GOSH

Eloquent, as always, Mr. Grist.

Then, giving into my feminine mind, I began to hyperanalyze.

This comment surprised me in the fact that it appeared as though Mr. Grist was surprised to be featured on a blog, as though he hadn’t been swarmed by fan girl posts before this. Was he ignorant of his rising fame? Was this him being humble and giving attention to his fans by commenting on even slightly obscure blogs? (No offence meant, Eliza, your blog is awesome and a wonderful hidden treasure. I can say this because the only people who read my blog are site spammers in Malaysia.)

Then, after a while, I realized. Jimmy Grist is not a superstar who has already been partially tainted by the evils of fame, he is an artist on the cusp of famousness. My wind-tossed willow tree friend and I have discovered him before he explodes into the world like a phoenix of artistness. We might be - dare I say it - the founders of his fan girl base?

This brought up a whole new set of questions to overthink. As an aspiring blogger myself, I wondered about Mr. Grist’s point of view. It must be at least amusing to have people adore you and your work and have total strangers want to marry you, though going out for coffee first might be prudent if you’re considering it, Mr. Grist.

Fan girls are a fearsome force to have on your side. Then I wondered if there is such a thing as fanboys... This thought disturbed me so I moved on quickly.

If, Mr. Grist, you were not aware of how awesome your work is, let me just say, get your head out of under that rock and smell the wildberries. Dinosaur Kid is wonderful. Also what do you think of having fan girls? Have we creeped you out yet? Because, if so, Mr. Grist, or if I may, Jimmy, mission accomplished. We will continue to follow your work with excited giggling and over exuberant discussions on the adventures of Dinosaur Kid and Octopus Kid as their lives are developed before our eyes.

Stay awesome, friend.

- Katie

That Italy Story with the Shaver...

A long time ago, in a country far far away...

One time, we went to Italy. Lots of crazy things happened, which has made it tough to write about. There’s simply too much material.

But I, Katie, figure an embarrassing story is always a good place to start.

Let me set the scene. Italy, 2011, the city of Rapallo which sets its port near Margherita and Portofino... It’s the dream vacation.

Now picture a very small bathroom in a lovely villa at the top of a nearby mountain. The shower is barely big enough to fit in, let alone maneuver without putting your life in danger.

There are also no shelves in said mini-shower, so essentially you have to hold everything, shampoo, conditioner, soap, shaver...

In the typically graceful and poised action of shaving, I slipped. I caught myself and managed to not die and was especially relieved as the shaver had nearly sliced my lip. I laughed at the story that would have made.

As I finished up, I noticed my chin did feel a little funny, but thought nothing of it. Being basically blind without contacts, I went out to the living room where my siblings sat and I began to laugh about how I nearly died in the shower. They all gaped at me before laughing hysterically.

Thus, it came to pass that the very first text we sent home upon our arrival in Italy was a short and simple message...

Arrived safe and sound and Katie cut her chin shaving her armpits.

- Katie

Feral Awards

This story begins with outrage. Specifically, outrage of the Sisters Kohrs over some of the Oscar results. Last weekend, we, along with most of the country, watched the Oscars, where feely and obscure movies always seem to land themselves in the spotlight, which, frankly, we’ve always been a little bitter about. But we’re working through it. With a few more years of counseling we may get over it. So, in our ranting about the unfairness of life, we decided to construct our own version of the Oscars.

For those of you who like the sort of movies that won at the Oscars, good for you. The following blog post will likely offend you, but then again, you got the Oscars, so we think you’ll be ok.

Katie’s Choice

Best Actress: Teresa Palmer in Warm Bodies

    Basically because she’s not annoying, which is impressive for an action movie’s leading lady/love interest. Just saying.

Best Actor/Best Villain: Benedict Cumberbatch in Star Trek Into Darkness

    Why is the Cumberpatch the best actor, let me see... Fantastic hair, voice, eyes, posture... Plus his acting isn’t half bad either.

And now we come to it, Katie’s choice for Best Picture is....

Let the dramatic pause happen. Just let it happen.

Ok, ok, ok, before you write me off, here are my reasons. I put a lot of thought into this, like at least a straight minute of dedicated thinking.

My top three were Star Trek Into Darkness, Ender’s Game and Warm Bodies. I loved all of them, but I still picked Warm Bodies, and here’s why.

The story, basically Romeo and Juliet with zombies, is interesting and weird in a great way. Teresa Palmer and Nicholas Hoult do a great job, plus the soundtrack is essentially perfect. And then there’s the rewatchability of it.

Usually when I go to a movie, if I like it the first time, I keep thinking about how great it was and talking it up. So then when I see it a second time, I am surprised by how much I don’t love it as much as I did the first time.

Kara and I forced it upon several different groups with varying results, but every time, I still loved it just as much or more. Star Trek and Ender, I remember loving, but I never have gotten that excited feeling that I want to see them again.  

So there you have it, Warm Bodies is my pick for best picture.

Kara’s Choice

Biggest Laugh: The Lone Ranger

I don’t understand why this movie gets so much hate. I thought it was amazing. There was a horse galloping on top of a train while the lone ranger theme was playing on repeat, how is that not awesome?

Best Actress: Jena Malone in the Hunger Games Catching Fire. I don’t remember liking Johanna in the book but in the movie she was so funny.

Best Actor: Benedict Cumberbatch. He was great in Star Trek. He was terrifying in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Where to start with Sherlock…

And because I have trouble making decisions and I want to stall, here are some of the movies that I really liked and feel should be mentioned.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Ender’s Game

Catching Fire

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Warm Bodies

Oh no, decision time...drama...confusion...inner turmoil...Katie yelling at me to not overthink this, it’s not like we’re giving out real awards...nearing a decision… and my pick for best picture is...

Star Trek Into Darkness!

Cause it’s awesome.

To finish up, we’ve compiled a few other awards and movies that deserve mentioning.

Most Generally Beautiful Movie: The Great Gatsby

Best special effects: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

    He is fire... he is death... and he is beautiful...

Most/Least Surprising Disappointment: Man of Steel

Most Coldestest - Frozen

Best Side-Character Hair: Ewan Mcgregor in Jack the Giant Slayer

Least Like the Book: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Hopefully the Book was Better than the Movie: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Most Cheesiest Romantic Comedy - Austenland

Most Simultaneously Terrible and Awesome - The Host

And there you have it, the Feral Oscars. Obviously, we weren’t able to see every good movie that came out this year, so please, tell us what we missed and who you think should have gotten an Oscar who didn’t.

Also, thank you to IMDB.com for being the source to a lot of the random information we had to look up for this post. Your infinite knowledge proves once again to be invaluable to our short memories. 

- Sisters Kohrs

Alien vs Orca

“Oh, Matthew, my love!”

Five pairs of eyes were fixed on the TV set, four of them beginning to well with tears. Juan, dressed in a peach sweater vest, sat straight in a lazy boy next to Griet’s old plaid couch that held Griet, Shawn and Aaron all in it’s plushy hold. Griet, with her blonde hair mashed up into a bun, was curled up on one side of the couch, nibbling her nails as the blanket she was clinging to was being slowly stolen by Shawn, inch by inch, unbeknownst to her. Aaron was next to him, his normally smirking face now serious and set on the TV, undistractable. And lastly, Han sat in a second lazy boy opposite Juan’s. Han’s hair was carefully crafted to appear messy and he sat, or rather sprawled, across the lazy boy, a happy smile plastered across his face.

“That’ll never last.” Griet broke the silence with a snorting laugh. “He’ll probably die next season.”

Glares assaulted her from every direction. Griet shrunk into her blanket, looking around quickly. “What? What’d I say?”

“No Alien marathon this year, guys. This year is going to be all about … Orcas!” Connor announced with pride, holding up a pair of documentaries as he burst into Griet’s apartment. 

The group looked up from their trance like state of watching Downton Abbey and blinked away the threatening tears.

“No messing with long established traditions! Everyone knows that February 14th is the day we take a moment to celebrate monsters exploding out of peoples’ chests in a shower of blood,” Juan protested.

“Has anyone thought about the fact that maybe that shouldn’t be a tradition?” Aaron asked, looking around the room with a grin. Juan gave him a dirty look. Connor ran a hand through his long mangy hair.

“Did you know how cruel it is that orcas are kept in captivity? One in every...”

“Connor, you know you’re not supposed to watch documentaries. They make you cry too much. It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved,” Griet put in.

“Griet’s right, it’s far more fun to watch you cry during Aliens,” Aaron agreed.

“That was one time,” Connor started, but Juan interrupted.

“Tradition is tradition, we have to stick with the Alien movies, no question.”

“I think it’d be fun to change things up,” Han said.

“You think what?” Juan asked in a low voice, leaning forward in his chair.

“I’ve always thought that it should be a day honoring the great love between Han Solo and Princess Leia.”

Juan turned on Han, wild eyed and wielding an accusing finger. “Star Wars already has May the Fourth, you do not get another day and frankly your opinion is not wanted here, sir!”

“I think he might have watched too much BBC...” Griet whispered to Shawn. He gave a solemn nod.

Han leapt to his feet and whipped out a plastic lightsaber. “You take that back!”

Griet stared at him, wide eyed. “You just have one of those on you?”

“You tell him what’s what, Juan!” Aaron called encouragement from the couch. “Star Trek has no place on such a great holiday.”

Han turned on Aaron and held the lightsaber to his throat. “You suck.”

“We could always just leave it as Valentine’s Day, you know, celebrate with chocolate and stuff,” Griet said, voice fading as Connor gave her a condescending look.

“Oh, sweet Griet. Just, don’t talk, okay?”

Griet threw up her hands. “For the last time, that whole “Sweet Griet” thing is never going to catch on-” She went into a stunned silence as Connor put out his hand to shush her and continued his rant.

“These beautiful creatures are being mercilessly tortured, how can you guys not want to see that?” Connor paused. “Wait, that came out wrong...”

“How about international Peach Day?” Shawn asked.

“Peaches?” Juan looked at Shawn in disbelief. “Does no one respect tradition anymore?”

“Guys, come on, lets just eat chocolate and make fun of a romantic comedy like normal people. Alien sounds completely over rated anyway,” Griet said.

All eyes in the room turned to her.

“Wait.” Aaron shook his head in disbelief. “You... You haven’t seen Alien...?”

Griet shrugged, oblivious to the deep silence that had come over the room. “No, but I’ve heard it basically invented scary, which, you know,” she laughed, “is completely ridiculous.” Her laugh faded as no one joined in, everyone staring at her. Connor threw the documentaries over his shoulder and grabbed the Alien case.

“That's it. We’re watching Alien.”

2013, Looking Back

Happy February First!!

Most people did their reflecting on 2013 a little closer to New Years. But if these posts were ever really on time, you’d think us predictable.

Overall, Kara and I are not terribly sad to bid 2013 goodbye.

Especially considering 2014 promises X-Men, Spiderman, another Hobbit and freaking Godzilla.

But we did learn a few things in 2013 that we’ll never forget.

1. The gas money spent on road trips from here to Kansas every other weekend is totally worth it.

2. Benedict Cumberbatch is amazing.

3. Writing about our lives is disturbingly enlightening.

4. The Legend of Zelda just keeps getting better.

5. The show Merlin is so good that watching all five seasons twice in one year isn’t just possible, it’s completely wonderful.

Here's hoping 2014 is even more awesome!

- The Sisters Kohrs