Tales of the Sisters Kohrs: Movies

Back when I was in high school I was yelled at at a slumber party for not knowing who Kramer from Seinfeld was. This was not an isolated event. Similar displays of shock and horror have taken place centering around a particular gap in knowledge that Katie and I share. We missed the 80’s and the 90’s. (Though in Katie’s defence she wasn’t actually born in the 80’s.) So almost any pop culture reference to those decades will go over our heads.

Usually when these types of situations arise it’s easiest to play along and pretend to know what someone is talking about.

However, whenever we are feeling brave or spiteful we might just confess.

After the initial shock wears off, lists of must see movies usually follow.

Now we didn’t miss everything. We totally saw Jurassic Park and…uh...Balto. And I had years of nightmares to prove it. From Jurassic Park, not Balto.

Recently we have gone back to catch a few of the movies from those decades.

Most of our energy has been spent on sci-fi. Over the last few weeks we’ve watched the first 3 Terminator movies, Predator, and all 4 Alien movies in 4 days.

Here’s what we’ve learned so far-

1. You had to have watched some movies when they came out to really get them. Such is the case with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I watched it a few years ago and didn’t like it. No seriously, what was up with that movie? I was going to include a humorous drawing about it but I couldn't shake my general indifference toward that movie to even come up with anything.

2. Sometimes movies don’t live up to the hype. Like Alien. For years people have told stories about the first time they ever saw it and how terrifying it was. Was it scary? Yes. Sort of. Was the terror the stuff of legends? No.

3. The actors who play older roles in modern movies used to be young. I know, mind blown.

4. Sometimes the original awesomeness of the movie and the outdated cheesiness meld to make something very enjoyable. Yes Footloose, I'm talking about you. Leg warmers and 80's music here I come.

- Kara

Last night, a verbal treaty was agreed upon. A war that has lasted several long years has come to an end that has left both sides wondering, was any of it really worth it?

A long, long time ago, it came to the world’s attention that I, Katie, had never seen Titanic.

At first it was just fun to shock people with this fact.

But then, Kara started insisting that I watch it, that it was an important experience for me.

Then it all morphed into a stubbornness contest, which is a dangerous thing amongst Feral Women. Kara decided she would find a way to make me watch it, and I decided it was a dumb movie designed to manipulate you emotionally and that people make their friends watch it just to see them cry like those people did when they watched it.

It’s become more and more dramatic and infamous over the years.

Then there’s the topic of Doctor Who. I’ve watched the show for years and have tried to get Kara to watch it, which she has always shut down with some emphasis. I think this is because Whovians can be pretty scary opinionated about it, myself included, plus if you’ve ever tried to explain it to a non-fan in a few sentences, it honestly sounds pretty lame.

(Kara - It looks lame and creepy and it’s irritating and emotionally manipulative that so many characters die. Also it just doesn’t interest me :)

These two wars have raged on for years, until last night when they collided in a surprising twist. Kara asked if we could watch Titanic for her birthday, which was Friday, by the way, and I returned with an offer. I would watch Titanic if she would watch all seven seasons of Doctor Who.

To my shock and dismay, she, with great hesitance, agreed.

As the reality of the deal we had just struck slowly sank in over the next few minutes, we both shuddered in the face of our future.

The wars were now over, but at what cost?

We watched Titanic last night, and I am proud to say I did not weep. It was emotionally manipulative, yes, but I reluctantly admit it was a good movie. Darn you, James Cameron and your confusingly broad and awesome skill at movie making… But that’s a post for another day.

The good part of my end of the deal, though, is that my suffering is mostly over. Now, I get to watch all of Doctor Who again with my very Anti-Whovian sister. This should be pretty interesting.

Unfortunately, the idea of Kara ever watching Who has always been completely ridiculous, so I’ve given her a lot of spoilers over the years. So I asked her what all she knows about Doctor Who.

Her response is as follows.

WARNING: The following contains some massive Doctor Who spoilers mixed with some very inaccurate ones.

Prepare yourself.

- Katie

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I've never seen a whole episode of Doctor Who. In fact I've only seen parts of maybe 4 or 5 episodes, mostly under duress. But living among several Who-ites I have overheard and been told a lot about Doctor Who. So based on the last several years this is what I know or think I know about Doctor Who.

1.Doctor Who is the last time lord and he travels around time with a companion who is almost always a young attractive girl who dies tragically. They have adventures.

2. The first doctor is Christopher Eccleston and he was only on for one season. He is more serious than the newer doctors. I know there was a huge love fest for him among my Who-ites and they had trouble adjusting to David Tennant after him. However after several seasons with light hearted doctors they may not love him as much as they used to.

3. Rose is the first companion and she was adored by all Who-ites. I think she dies or whatever in the 2nd season. There also could be some sort of unresolved romance between her and the doctor, but I’m not sure about that one.

4. David Tennant is the 2nd doctor and he is possibly the most loved. Honestly though, I’m not sure whether he or Matt Smith is the most popular, or if Who-ites are just fickle and after a little rage they always love the current doctor best. He is sort of nerdy and gangly and eccentric and crazy looking. I want to say he is only on for 2 seasons but it could be 3.

5. Time is a wibbly wobbly something or other.

6. Doctor Who travels in the Tartis which is a blue telephone box. It’s bigger on the inside then it is on the outside.

7. Doctor who’s main weapon is a sonic toothbrush. Each doctor’s toothbrush looks different. They are irritatingly overpriced to buy as gifts for Who-ites.

8. The Dalicks are the main villains of Doctor Who. They destroyed his planet and all the time lords. Every now and then they pop in and try and destroy everything. They have electronicy voices. They look sort of old school because they are from the original Doctor Who series and it became tradition not to change them.

9. Doctor Who has two hearts.

10. When Doctor Who “dies” he can regenerate. This was started because in the original series they would cast very old actors who would die. In theory he can only regenerate 12 times but because its so popular they have either found a loophole or discarded that rule. Whenever he regenerates he checks to see if he has red hair because he wants to be a ginger. He has never gotten that dream.

11. After Rose there are a series of companions whose names I don't know. There’s an older red headed lady and Harriet from Little Dorrit. There is some companion that appears in an episode as a different character before becoming a companion.

12. Colin Morgan from Merlin appears in one episode as an angsty teen and he is awesome.

13. Every british actor must be in at least 1 episode of Doctor Who. The fact that characters die willy nilly every episode makes this both possible and necessary.

14. The characters are witty.

15. Matt Smith is the current doctor. He always wears bow ties because they are cool. He is the youngest doctor who yet. He has either just died or will die soon.

16. Within the last few seasons there was a young, cute, redheaded companion who was wildly popular. Her name might be Amy Pond. She marries some guy who was sent back in time to like ancient Rome or something and had to live through hundreds of years of history to get back to her. They had their wedding night and the Tartis and had a time lord kid named River Song who married the doctor as an adult. She might have given up her powers to save him but I’m not sure about that. Amy Pond and husband have died or whatever recently.

17. The next actor they have cast is older and people have their doubts about him.

18. One of the newest companions is a brunette that looks more like she should be on the CW then doctor who. Apparently she has a super cool back story.

19. The 3d doctor who movie was awesome and the 3d was really good.

20.There are fixed points in time that can’t be changed.

21. Something mind blowing happened recently involving fixed points and it changed everything. Doctor Who may have gone back and saved his planet which supposedly was a fixed point.

22. There is a creepy skin flap women who needs to be moisturized. She is the last human.